Yesterday's heartbeat

                                    

Dap dip dup :)

you came into my life,

awkward, its a first time,

day by day, its only us in this world

you are everything i had,i want and i.. love

you took care of me like there's no tomorrow

adjourn further, we faces life changes stage by stage

with different situation against different strength.

i fail to realize how strong u patiently hold on.

u saw my mistake that slowly kills you,

im sorry i fail to see your tears

i was selfish trying to have fun

that was you who loved by my family

remember how grandma use to cherish you?

she still mention about you in times.

my family loves you, they just dont want to pamper us :)

your family? 'us' is a big secret.

religion plays its role, i knew u had been trying hard

harder than anyone can see, you manage to close your heart to all the teasing.

you knew it will make u stronger :)

you said being with me is an irreplaceable moment.

you keep saying 'i love u'

and i get annoyed sometimes not knowing it will soon be unheard.

everyday i enjoy with you, everything i'm use to share with only you.

it gets exciting then balanced then bored then when i really realize it was amazing to just love you..

came the time, where its faith for us to stop and perhaps reach the end of our lullabies.

you started to change,

you started to make options

you start to let weakness take place,

u stop believing that 'we can go through it no matter what'

you start forgetting your promises

you start to say goodbye.

~~ -.- -.- ~~

i couldnt accept it,

i cried long enough,

you still remember how badly i cried on 2nd of december?

i couldnt care where we were at that point, all because i didnt want to lose you

it really feels like dying, it take me at least a month to stop crying, [really? then what are these tears for right now?] :')

..i changed..

i become silent, i only want to sit and keep on praying for strenght.

people around me were shock, they use to think that we are well, something :)

what ever it is i have to be thankful it made me closer to god

i dont know why, i m much stronger now.

you told me  to PRAY BELIEVE PATIENT~~~~~

wait there's  AN AMAZING SCENE  i want to share !

you remember when i worked at Citibank office?

There was this day i was cleaning up the drawer containing piles of files,

the files were dated since 2008. while arranging, i found a space in between the drawers, and there were a few files.. guess what the files were all the dates of our special dates -> your birthday, my birthday, our anniversary, the day we had big fights and the day we ended our relationship.[ funny right]

i was speechless at that moment, it was really an amazing and confuse feeling that makes me think. all i did was look at that file and smile. maybe it was just a coincident.

until today, i admit i still miss you.. that i wish to wake up some day knowing it was just a bad dream, but i cant huh?

if you are reading this, i want u to know

i am trying to move on , trying very hard. what ever it is, i apologize that it took me a while to realize what i had. im happy that we are able to be.... friends... im glad you move on, i will pray for you.

~~~~PRAY BELIEVE PATIENT~~~~